The Modern Age and Mental Health

"What if modern life is incompatible with mental wellbeing for most people? What if the age of technology and globalisation that we are living through is driving a negative sea change in the wellbeing of our communities? After all, we have seen a financial crisis, falling real incomes, rising levels of temporary employment, the ‘middle’ squeezed, a housing crisis and a myriad other economic and social upheavals in recent decades.

On top of this, social media has entered our lives, opening us up to more information and opportunities, but also more scrutiny. The gap between the lives that most of us actually lead, and the gilded lifestyles we have access to via the media, Twitter or Instagram, and aspire to, is bigger than ever before. It has even created a modern anxiety – Fear of Missing Out Syndrome (Fomo) and we are increasingly trying to make sure we don’t miss out by hooking ourselves to the credit drip."  Richard Carlton-Crabtree

The above quote spoke to me on so many levels. The first level was that it is very relate-able. But the second level was the thought that our generation is just not equipped for it. We are emotionally immature and unprepared for the life that has been thrust upon us. But the 'millennial' generation seems so quick to blame everyone else rather than try to adapt and accept life as it is. We cannot change it, so if you can't beat them you must join them. The notion that "we didn't ask for this" is valid, but we didn't ask to be born either, and we made the most of that! People in the war did not ask for it, but they kept calm and carried on. And we have the nerve to moan about hardship?

I suffer from mental illness because of the pressures of life and the strains that my health has on everything that I do - I wouldn't have had to worry 40 years ago as my partner's wages could have paid the bills, but now we both need to work to afford a home and a family together. And yes, that is society's fault, it is the politicians' fault and it is inflation's fault - but can I do anything about it? No.

I can vote for the people I think would best rectify the problems, but I do not have the power myself as an individual - I can only make the changes that affect me directly and are within my power. So what have I done?

• I take great advantage of the NHS in the UK - they provide me with the medication and treatment I need in order to work. It might not be fast, but it is free and it's the best I've got! And I am so grateful.
• I explain everything to my employers and anyone that it might affect so that they can better understand my issues and make reasonable adjustments, which is thankfully part of the UK law - no discrimination, another thing I am grateful for.
• I meditate so that if I am worrying about things, I can try to help my mind and train it not to think about things that are unhelpful and counter-productive. Meditation is a tool that anyone can utilise, and for me it has been powerful and helpful. It's not a spiritual thing for me, just a tool for relaxing and training my mind.

I realise that not everyone is able to do these things. My mother for example is disabled and uses the benefit system to survive, but again that is another thing that is imperfect, but it still exists! We are very lucky to have it, and should not take it for granted. Yes your quality of life is affected by being disabled, but you do have a roof over your head, doctors for free, help with your bills and free advice. You can even get free financial advice from the local authorities if you are confused or unable to correctly balance your benefits. It is an imperfect system, but it is something that other countries are not privy to.

I believe that mental health has risen due to the fact that technology and change has some so quickly into our lives that we are unequipped to deal with it, and so is our society, our government and our elders. We as a generation need to stand up, grow up and get on with our lives, because we do not have the power to change anything - YET!

There will come a time when our generation have more of a say, but if you keep making yourselves look weak and whiny, no-one is going to take you seriously. We have mental health issues, but we can overcome them better than anyone before us, because we have the answers at our fingertips, and we have a support network of other people who understand.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Health

So this is a sore subject for me (pun intended). I feel as though my health is a never-ending battle and I can never tell whether I will be OK from one day to the next. It's depressing, it's frustrating and it is not getting any better.

So a bit of background - I have a condition that has not been formally diagnosed by a doctor because they are still investigating, but judging by the same illness in my father, it is Dercum's Disease (Adiposis Dolorosa). This is characterised by many painful fatty lipomas and angiolipomas all over the body, especially in the abdomen, thighs, arms and back. They are extremely painful to touch, and I have 60+ of them at the age of 25.

They also cause other complications such as Arthritis, immune suppression and mental health issues due to pain. So here's a run-down:

• I have suspected arthritis in my hip, hands and knees.
• I have a suppressed immune system - very low iron, folic acid, vitamin D & B12.
• I have sciatic nerve pain and numbness in extremities.
• I have constant headaches/eyesight trouble through side effects and stress.
• I suffer with anxiety and depression.
• Each lipoma is painful and tender - I am acutely aware of every single one.

Now - the pain can be mostly treated, I take medication which helps take the edge off. The mental side of it is much worse, as I know it's getting worse and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I try to look after myself as best I can, but I am limited with exercise and the depression messes with my ability to diet and then I feel worse about myself... it's a vicious cycle.

The anxiety comes from feeling like a burden, being stressed that I am always sick and therefore making myself worse, and feeling like I cannot do the things that other people my age or older can do. I don't want to be a burden, I cannot walk long distances and I avoid situations where I might ruin someone else's night if they have to help me with anything. I know that I am not a burden and none of the people who love me feel that way, but it is a constant thought - that's anxiety for you!


However - after all said and done, there really is nothing I can do about it. I see doctors in several fields, I take my medication and I try to look after myself all while holding down a full-time job - I don't want to take disability benefits because I will be bored, and I have to be active while I can. I refuse to let it beat me because I am stronger than it. I am stronger than the illnesses that try to beat me down, and I can do this. I have to enjoy what I have while it is still here - because I know I will be much worse in only a couple of decades.

Life is short, and my mobility is precious to me so I am keeping it. I urge anyone else with illnesses or disabilities not to give up on themselves, and not to let it beat you until you are too weak to fight back any longer.

We got this.

My Experiences with Work

I will start this post by saying that I have had a good many jobs, because I always chase happiness in a role - that being said, I realise that life is not idealistic, and you're always going to have elements that you dislike in anything that you do - but the balance should be in the favour of happiness!

To put it in perspective, the average person works 7.5 hours per day, that is 37.5 hours per week. In that time, you have to travel to and from your place of work, so let's say the average working day from leaving your home to getting back is around 9 hours with lunch included.

I myself, work 11 hours per day with travel and lunch included.

Now - if you think about it, you spend most of your waking week at work or travelling to work. So why would you want to spend the majority of your time somewhere that you hate, somewhere that stresses you out, or around people you don't like?

Life is FAR too short to be dealing with places, situations and people that don't make you happy. For me, money motivates me, but I would rather work for a small wage than work somewhere that reduced my quality of life and mental state.

I worked somewhere that had me crying on a Sunday night because the thought of going back there after relaxing all weekend was too much to bear. I was angry, withdrawn and not eating properly because the job was depressing and soul-destroying. I earned good money, and that was ultimately what made me stay for more than a few weeks, but enough was enough. When money is the only element of your job that is good, it's time to move on.

I chased happiness, and found a role (and fought for it!) that allows me to feel like I am making a difference and has a positive atmosphere. The people are nice, the office is nice, the pay is good, and I feel like I need to work hard to achieve what I want out of it - there are end goals, I am not just pushing buttons to make money for a CEO anymore.

I am making a difference to the people I help, and I am good at it!

My only advice here is to always chase happiness, because you do not want to spend most of your life being unhappy, being stressed, or not being yourself. Life is more than your job.

Food for Thought - Existentialist Happiness

You say to me, "Life is hard to bear." But why would you have your pride in the morning and your resignation in the evening? Life is hard to bear; but do not act so tenderly! We are all of us fair beasts of burden, male and female alike. What do we have in common with the rosebud, which trembles because a drop of dew lies on it?

True, we love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

And to me too, as I am well disposed toward life, butterflies and soap bubbles and whatever among men is of their kind to know most about happiness. Seeing these light, foolish, delicate, mobile little souls flutter—that seduces a man to tears and songs.
I would believe only in a god who could dance. And when I saw my devil I found him serious, thorough, profound, and solemn: it was the spirit of gravity—through him all things fall.
Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter.

I have learned to walk: ever since, I let myself run. I have learned to fly: ever since, I do not want to be pushed before moving along.
Now I am light, now I fly, now I see myself beneath myself, now a god dances through me.